Obsession
by Zero-Divide
Summary: Obsession has pushed Heero to the limits of his sanity. Chapter Revised!


Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing.

AN: Now, before you read and become shocked an appalled at the subject matter let me just get some things straight. No I am not a morose sadistic little kid who needs a psychiatric evaluation. And yes I do believe in 1xr. However, like most of my other stories, the idea compelled me. This fic was actually inspired by the song "Walking Dead" byChester Bennington andBlackRose, though she might not know it, and I must give credit to her for giving me the idea. Read the story, then comment and I will give an explanation of how it came about. I don't want to ruin it in the AN section. Read and Review!

**Obsession**

/_In the chill of the night  
I can feel my heart racing  
As I run towards the light  
That seems so far away  
Wandering forever in the darkest of shadows  
Wondering if I will ever see you again..._/

-Chester Bennington

He had blatantly ignored her love, which had subsequently brought on her hate. She, in turn, became the object of his desire, both primal and emotional. He had fought against his raging emotions, but eventually they turned on him and allowed her to be his one consuming thought. The mere scent of her perfume, or something that even slightly resembled its' soft flowery aroma, would light his soul on fire.

_/I'll take your love.../_

His obsession knew no bounds. It came to a point where his need to see her, became his one consuming thought. Polaroid's, newspaper clippings, and paparazzi snap shots were not enough to curb his appetite. He hungered for her in way that was almost inhuman. Do not get it misconstrued however; there was a method to his apparent madness: _Protection_.

He rationalized his insanity, convincing himself that the only reason his body yearned for her, was so that he could protect her. He was only making good on a promise that he had made years ago. Working with that bit of logic, he pulled himself out of hiding and presented himself at Preventer HQ. His status as a former Gundam Pilot, and the relationship he had with her, quickly propelled him to his desired status as her personal bodyguard. For awhile the beast within him was comforted, and suckled calmly on the fact that he was her guardian. In person, however, they regarded each other with cold and distant formality. Like actors on a stage, they performed with such finesse that it eventually became a game of curt nods, stiff handshakes, and who-could-glare-who-into-submission.

_/I'll take your hate.../_

He played stylishly, so much so that everyone on the force really believed he didn't givea damnabout her safety. However, in the privacy of his home, when relieved of his charge and left with his devilish thoughts, he yearned for her.

His body twitched in agony as the stress of being home without her grated on his nerves. He needed a vice; needed something to restrain the beast. He found his escape in the back alleys of the colonies. Alcohol did the trick for awhile, but his hunger grew and stronger vices were needed. What came next was a slew of toxins and drugs that in all seriousness, would have killed a lesser man, but merely provided a moments relief from his seemingly never-ending agony.

The beast never stayed sedated for long, and though it took time to adjust, it became accustomed to the toxins. It devoured whatever he offered, and came back at him with such a ferocious vengeance that it literally caused him to crumble in pain. Everyday after work, he came home and collapsed in a pathetic heap onto the cold linoleum floor of his studio apartment. Curling tightly into the fetal position, he hugged himself and rocked back and forth, all the time whispering her name. Something needed to be done, and finally after a night of thrashing about on the floor, he acted.

He _needed_ her, needed her in a way that defied every scope of human logic. Tonight would be his night. Tonight the beast inside his soul would find nourishment, and finally leave him in peace.

_/I'll take your desire.../_

Without care of his appearance, he grabbed his work jacket and left home in a bit of a stupor. The nights fix was a larger dose than he normally took, so he was a little less sure footed than he would have liked to be. Despite the lack of motor skills, he climbed aboard his motorcycle, compliments of Preventer HQ, and raced to her home.

He arrived, and his thoughts were a little less muddled. The ride over had sobered him up quickly, but that only caused the pain he felt to become more acute. He clambered over the side wall on the east side of the estate, where her window over looked the city, and ran across the lawn. Years ago, he would have been able to scale the wall, sprint to her window, and then climb into her room without breaking a sweat. However, months of substance abuse had taken a toll on his body. A cold sweat had broken out all over his body and his hands trembled. It was pitiful to see what he had been reduced to, but the beast didn't care. All it wanted was her, completely.

_/I'll take your heart.../_

Pulling himself to his feet, he walked shakily to the balcony door and wrenched it open. But as he glanced inside, he stood there for a moment; unable to comprehend the scene that was playing out before him.

Sheets had been pulled up far too late, for the image had already been eternally burned into his mind.

Trowa and Relena.

Relena and Trowa.

Naked.

Sweat slicked bodies gyrating with such force that the bed creaked, and the walls shook. The soft, sad, drug induced moan that escaped his lips however, was loud enough to pull them from their activities.

"Heero!"

His face fell and his vision swam. Head bent, his hair fell into the customary position of obscuring his face, and he struggled to maintain himself in an upright position. Suddenly, and without any formal provocation, he straightened up quickly and put a bullet neatly through his former colleague's temple. The large silencer dampening the gunshot to nothing more than a fly swat.

Betrayal.

He had been betrayed by both of them, and the punishment for this sort of crime was death.

Her screams cut through the air, slicing through the silence to reach his ears and further aggravate that already emotional hurricane that had been building inside his chest. She made a motion to move, but he was upon her in a flash. She struggled and before he could restrain himself, he had punched her square in the jaw. Her mouth sagged open, indicating he had broken it, but he didn't care.

_/I'll take your pain.../_

Quickly he removed all of his clothes and plunged into her, he needed to be comforted from the pain that kept him awake at night. She was not tight, due to her previous romping around and this enraged him. He grabbed her roughly, and plowed himself into her relentlessly until he found release. It came and went, but the beast did not know satisfaction. He desired release, yearned for it beyond anything else. After the third round he cast her aside, and rolled off of her in a daze.

He didn't understand.

He should be feeling better, but he wasn't. Instead the pain seemed to grow and spread, pulsating from his chest, out to his extremities, and back again. Gripping his skull in his hands, he looked at the object of his undying pain and desire. She lay there motionless, blood smeared along her face and thighs.

He grabbed her and pulled her lifeless form to his own. He caressed her hair erratically and whispered that he didn't mean for it to be this way. Feeling for a pulse, but finding none, he opened his mouth and let out a guttural cry of agony that seemed to rise from the pits of his soul.

His fantasies of her had been soiled.

Through all the contemplating, plodding, and scheming, it had never occurred to him that she would move on, and find someone else. Least of all would he have dared to even consider that the person she would fall for would be one of the five of them.

It had all been ruined.

All his pain and suffering was for naught. Still, he felt the agony. Still, he yearned for release. Still, the beast continued to rip his soul to pieces.

Stepping over the body of his former comrade, he picked up his pistol and stuffed the muzzle into his mouth. This was the only other way…

_/I'll bring you to life.../_

**Bang**


End file.
